Conversations With a Urologist
So I’ve been hanging out with a urologist twice a year, which is always a good idea for men who entered this world during the waning years of the Truman Administration. I’ll refer to him as Dr. P. His last name does actually start with a P, so I’ll let you decide if the moniker I have assigned to him is a marginally humorous double entendre or simply an effort to save time and wear and tear on my keyboard. Unless I hear different, I’m going with the latter.
Dr. P seems to really care about my urological well-being, and, as an extraordinarily serendipitous bonus, he also knows enough about the National Football League to carry on a conversation about something that has nothing at all to do with how many times I wake up during the night to use the bathroom.
The Coffee Reduction Recommendation
However, as much as I enjoy my semiannual expedition to Dr. P’s office to talk about Jalen Hurts and my prostate gland, the last time we chatted, he hit me with a sentence no man wants to hear – at least not this man.
“Maybe you should cut back to two cups of coffee a day,” he said – way too matter-of-factly, in my opinion. It’s not like he was suggesting that I exercise more or carefully monitor my intake of frozen yogurt. He was actually saying that I should somehow find a way to totally jettison from my life four or five daily cups of an astoundingly marvelous beverage with the amazing ability to cure – or at least cover up – just about everything that has ever ailed me.
All this just because Dr. P thought my bladder looked a little bit variegated when he stuck a camera up you-know-where to find out what the heck was going on with my urinary tract. More on that never; I’d prefer to erase the experience from my memory.
What the Research Says
This unwelcome suggestion got me thinking, which means I headed directly to my computer to do some serious research. I decided my future health and happiness should be determined by the experts at the Mayo Clinic, which I thought was a reasonably reliable source – and I was incredibly correct.
I learned that drinking coffee has the potential to be a healthy habit. According to Mayo, studies have found that consuming this awesome beverage can lower the risk of Parkinson’s disease, type 2 diabetes, Alzheimer’s disease, metabolic syndrome, chronic kidney disease, liver cancer, gallstones and kidney stones.
And caffeine, which I think is the ingredient that makes coffee such a magnificent addition to anyone’s diet, apparently improves mood and lowers the risk of depression in some groups – fans of the Dallas Cowboys, maybe? – and also might lower the risk of stroke and cancers of the mouth, throat and digestive system. Mayo warns that “The evidence isn’t conclusive.” But, hey, evidence is evidence, right?
The Drawbacks of Over-Caffeination
The Mayo website does point out that too much caffeine can cause anxiety, headaches, heartburn symptoms and urinary issues such as frequent trips to the bathroom. In addition, some studies have shown that drinking five or more cups of coffee a day has the potential to lower bone density among some groups of women. That won’t affect me, of course, and I’ll give my wife a heads up – though, as far as I know, she has never consumed a cup of coffee in her entire life.
A Compromise Cup Count
So there you have it. According to a really good source, coffee can be a really good thing for your physical and mental health. I know it works for me. But what should I do about the suggestion from Dr. P, an excellent urologist whose opinion I trust? Should I simply ignore his advice and continue to drink coffee when I wake up, before lunch, two or three times after lunch and again after dinner?
I decided to compromise, cutting out what once was my final cup of the day and reducing my total daily intake to four cups on most days. I think Dr. P will be happy with that, and I’ll be OK with it – and who else really cares?
Glad we had this talk.
Brian Sherman
