I’m getting ready to eat breakfast, and I reach for the milk I’ve been thinking about pouring over a nourishing concoction of Grape-Nuts, blackberries and several varieties of nuts. Just for the heck of it, I put my eyeballs – with help from my reading glasses – on that near-invisible little line of type that supposedly tells me if the milk is safe to drink or if it has languished so long in my fridge that I cannot be certain it won’t cause me gastrointestinal distress or something much worse. More on that later.
For an instant, my world comes screeching to a halt. Time stands still, I’m finding it difficult to breathe and my head is spinning in multiple directions. The “sell by” date on the carton is July 6. Slowly, and with much trepidation, I raise and rotate my arm so I will have an unobstructed view of the Apple watch that adorns my left wrist. As I feared, the number just above the center of the screen is a 7. Sadly, my milk has exceeded its expiration date.
Its untimely demise leaves me with four viable options. I can drive to the nearest grocery or convenience store and buy milk that still has a useful life. Another possibility would be to eat the cereal, berries and nuts straight up, without milk – I have water and V8, but I don’t think either will work. A third choice – substitute yogurt for milk. And my fourth option is to take my chances and go ahead and douse my breakfast with the aforementioned expired milk.
Since everything else is already in the bowl and the first three options would certainly fall under the category of not worth the trouble, I risk life and limb by consuming the milk whose time has come and gone. I’m sure you’ll be glad to know that I survived this potential ordeal without the slightest bit of discomfort or swig of Pepto Bismol.
That experience sparks my interest in doing some serious research. On the website eatingwell.com, I find that, generally speaking, you can use milk for three days after its expiration date and for up to seven days if the carton hasn’t been opened. But the really interesting part is the advice on how to tell if milk is safe to drink. It probably isn’t if it has a “sour, unpleasant smell that’s noticeable upon first whiff.” Your next step, if you really need one, should be to examine the color because spoiled milk can develop mold and appear black or blue. How lovely. Not yet convinced that the milk needs to go directly down the drain? Check the consistency. If you notice chunks or lumps, this just might be an indicator that the milk is no longer safe to drink.
However, I guess you need to be absolutely certain whether your milk is still safe for human consumption, so the website directs you to taste it: “If you notice any sourness or acidic flavors, it’s best to toss it.” Good advice.
The website points out that, according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s Food Safety and Inspection Service, you might find one of four dates on a carton of milk: best if used by; sell by; use by; and freeze. No offense to my federal government, but wouldn’t this, for example, make more sense: July 7 – Give it the sniff test; July 11 – Have the pink stuff handy; July 15 – Don’t say we didn’t warn you; and July 19 or later – It’s been nice knowing you. Have a pleasant afterlife. It would be a lot less confusing than all this use by, sell by nonsense.
So what’s the penalty for drinking old, worn-out milk? Apparently, spoiled milk can cause vomiting, stomach cramping or diarrhea – three things I usually try to avoid. My breakfast didn’t engender any of these nasty symptoms. However, based on what I learned on the internet, from now on, before I drink milk, I’ll be sniffing and checking for strange colors and discernable lumps. If there’s any doubt in my mind, I think I’ll pass on the tasting part.
Glad we had this talk.
Brian Sherman
