Have lunch with someone who doesn’t know what a statin is
By Jenny Peterson
A few years ago, I interviewed a prominent retired businessman in New Orleans. He had built a large shipping empire, enjoyed the sort of success that earns magazine profiles and was well into his 90s. As often happens during interviews with people who have managed to stick around longer than most, I eventually asked the question I ask nearly everyone approaching triple digits:
What’s the secret to living to 100?
Over the years, I’ve collected a variety of answers to that question. Some sounded like jokes. Some probably were jokes. My 100-year-old grandmother swore by a daily glass of sherry. Another person credited never eating fast food.
But this businessman gave me an answer I had never heard before.
“The secret to staying young,” he said, “is to go to lunch once a week with a young person.”
I waited for the punchline.
“…Because they never ask you about your health problems.”
I must have looked confused.
Why Intergenerational Friendships Matter
He explained that when a group of octogenarians get together for lunch, a surprising amount of conversation revolves around ailments. Knees. Hips. Blood pressure. Cholesterol. Specialists. Procedures. Prescription medications and their side effects.
But younger people, specifically those in their 20s and 30s, look toward the future and are immersed in their work and own drama — dating drama, housing drama, celebrity drama. They don’t ask questions about someone else’s chronic health conditions. Not because they’re rude. Not because they don’t care. They just don’t spend much time thinking about that sort of stuff.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized he was right.
As a relatively healthy 40-something, I rarely ask older friends or relatives detailed questions about their health, unless something significant has recently happened.
If I meet someone my age for lunch, the odds of either of us opening with, “So tell me about your latest colonoscopy,” are fairly low.
Looking Beyond “Old People Stuff”
That may be one reason 85-year-old Summerville grandmother Bonnie Mae Thomas enjoys living with her adult granddaughter. Their playful relationship, she said, helps keep her young.
“We just don’t talk about ‘old people stuff,’” Thomas said.
Instead, their conversations tend to revolve around everyday life, family happenings and “pranking” each other.
Perhaps we should be more mindful of checking in on an older relative’s health. But perhaps, there is also something valuable about escaping the things that worry us.
It reminds me of new parents who spend an evening with their single friends who never ask how — or even if — their baby has transitioned from a pacifier to a sippy cup. It’s just not on their friends’ radars. And parents get a temporary vacation from a dominant topic of their lives.
A Different Perspective on Staying Young
Maybe that’s what this businessman had figured out.
Whether it’s once a week or once a month, there may be real merit in sharing a meal with someone from a different generation who pulls you out of your recurring script to discuss Taylor Swift’s latest headline, the news of the day or whatever trend is currently taking over the internet instead of comparing notes on whose joints are wearing out fastest.
